I'm not sure exactly what I want to say or how to say it. I am overwhelmed sometimes when I step back and look at the blessings in my life. Landon and I are so very blessed to have such deep and uplifting relationships in our lives. The relationships in our small group have become very dear to us over the last year. These people aren't our blood family, but they are becoming our family so quickly.
On Tuesdays we have small group where we meet with 6 other couples, share a meal, then talk about life, what our pastor preached the Sunday prior, what God is doing in our lives, and just a whole lot of stuff. I love going to group. We leave each week so blessed and encouraged.
Last week was a rough week. Just being at home with a fussy baby, getting down on myself, on our life, and on the frustrations I feel. It's so easy to focus on myself when things seem like they aren't working out or I am going through a struggle. I, coming from a terrible attitude, chose not to go to group last week. I didn't want to talk or laugh or share anything because I wanted to wallow in my self pity over how awful my week was going. That night and the next day, I got texts and emails and facebook messages asking where I had been and if anything was wrong. They weren't prying questions trying to find out info so someone could gossip. They were concerned questions because the people in our group know me and everyone else so well.
I sat in front of the computer holding my phone and just wept.
These people love me. They don't just care about me, they genuinely, unconditionally, and truly love me. And I didn't quite realize it until that day. When I had been at my worst, my friends had met me with their best.
Every week we meet, I realize more and more how treasured I am by God and how loving He is. He loves me enough to place me in a group of people that gently and lovingly rub the rough edges out of my life. I wouldn't dream of being anywhere else, because I see how my life and attitudes are changing for the better.
On of the guys in group last night said something that stuck with me. I can't quote it word for word, but it was something like "Nothing materialistic compares to relationships." He said it much better, I'm sure, but I love that message. How many of us are trying so desperately to find our identity in things? How many people are wealthy but lack true value and worth because they don't have genuine relationships in their lives? How many people are trudging through life trying to make things appear better than they are because they are truly unhappy? I don't want to be those people. I would rather be poor in wealth and live simply with real relationships in my life than have anything money can buy and be secretly unhappy.
I realize this post is all over the place, but I felt like sharing from the heart today, and when I share from the heart, I'm not polished with my words. Do you have people in your life that speak truth to you, love you, and value you for who you are? I am so happy to say that I do, and those times where I feel loved and cherished even with all my rough edges are some of the most meaningful times of my life.
I want to choose to use my life to invest in others as others have invested in me. To care enough about another person that I share my heart with them and let them share their heart with me.
To love as I have been loved.