last hike...

After my grandpa's graveside service, our extended family gathered for one last walk around the farm together.  It was such a sweet time remembering so many years of memories.  I won't write a big explanation, just post some pictures instead.

saying goodbye...

I'm not good at goodbyes, or truly expressing how I feel in a single moment of time.  It takes time and thought to really understand my feelings, or else they come out in a blurting, jumbled mess.  I thought it would be simpler to write them down.

Yesterday my grandpa passed away.  It wasn't unexpected, but it was still sad.  After my grandma passed away when I was a teenager, I didn't see as much of grandpa as I had previously.  But as a child, I saw a lot of him and my grandma.  Reflecting on his life and my siblings and I growing up knowing him has brought up a lot of memories.  A lot of emotions come up, especially when I think of my grandma.  She was very dear to me and my sister and brothers, and we have a lot of good memories of her and grandpa and their farm in northern Indiana.  So the most logical thing I can think of to do, to properly pay my respects, is to list some of these memories here.

*The humming from grandpa's dentist office, and the smell of wood floors there.

*A styrofoam cup, half-full of coffee, with lipstick marks on it.

*A warm sweater hanging on an an office chair that spun around and around.

*Playing on the typewriter in grandma's office, and flipping through her rolodex.

*Leaning back in the dentist chair as grandpa checked for cavities.

*Grandma leaning against the door to the examination room, talking with my mom and dad while us kids got our exams.

*The slippery, wooden, curving staircase in the farmhouse.

*A bookshelf where many an afternoon was spent reading as adults talked downstairs.

*The smell of crackling bacon as grandpa stood making breakfast for us grandkids.

*Playing skip-bo on the farm table.

*Dressing up in grandma's jewelry and putting on her lipstick at her vanity.

*Hannah and I sitting with grandma watching Jaws and hearing her shudder at the scary parts.

*A bee sting, screaming, running to the farmhouse, and grandma running beside us.

*A deep smell of perfume as we were squeezed into a hug

*Sitting nervously on stage with my violin, and finding my grandparents in the crowd smiling at me

*Tweed jackets, and khaki pants

*A mole on a cheek, and a comment of "That's my beauty mark, like Marilyn Monroe."

*The scratchy, sweaty days making hay with grandpa at the wheel of his tractor.

*Riding in a green pickup truck on a wide bench.

*Painting a wooden fence with Hannah and grandma walking out to take our picture

*Watching bats fly in and out of the barn.

*Black angus cows.

*Hunting for mushrooms on chilly days.

*Hikes, forts, games, all in the woods for hours on end.

*Warmth from a wood burning stove.

*Whitewater rafting in Montana and watching grandpa smile as we paddled along the river.

*Wearing socks in an big pool with a rough bottom.

*A basement, so scary to little eyes, we barely dared going down there.

*Tubing down the toboggan run.

*Watching a truck take an evening drive, grandpa driving and grandma sitting beside.

*An old, out of tune piano in a sitting room.

*Monday night family dinners around a farm table.

*Postcards from Hawaii, Montana, Mexico, and other travels.

*A Bible verse made out in small letters on the back of an envelope.

*Pictures of grandpa holding his catch from fly fishing.

*Grandma's dancing eyes, and the crinkles at the corners.

Sometimes memories don't come as easily, and I shut my eyes and try hard to remember.  I am afraid I will forget one, or it will somehow slip away.  I am thankful for the ones I have though, and I am thankful to have known my grandparents, as some people aren't as fortunate.  As we all say final farewells this weekend, I will mentally take it all in, as we take final walks around the farm, as we stand at grandma's gravestone once again, as grandpa is laid to rest beside her, as family meets together in places where memories were made and years passed.

hello, again...

Well, I'm back!  Here's a little peek at what my days are like now.  I have two boys!  Finn will be 3 soon, and Johann just turned 3 months!  Life has been all sorts of crazy/busy/fun/hard these days.  But it's been so amazing watching our family grow and change.

After burning out a bit with being pregnant and having a new baby, I took the spring and summer off from updating on here. While it was unintentional to leave this little corner of the internet all alone for awhile, it turned out to be a much-needed break.  It also allowed me to sort of refocus on what my goals are for this blog and using my time in general.

For the last few years, Landon and I have been aiming towards simplifying our life. 

We have realized our goal of a simple life is a journey, and one that's constantly evolving and adapting. I want to use this space and my time writing on here as an outlet for all the ideas and actions we take to get closer to our goal.  Because of that, I am going to aim to write with more intention and focus on how we are trying to practically live that out, alongside the usual family updates, of course.

Life is too short to waste, and I hope we can savor every minute of it! I can't wait to get back into writing here and there about how we are trying to do just that.

so many reasons...

via

I am finding this so true these last few days.

*Landon bringing home cookies to bake together.

*Watching Finn sled down a hill with his Gramps and me racing beside them.

*Spending the weekend with some amazing friends sharing thoughts and food.

*Hearing a lot more birds singing this morning as I woke up.

*Making music with some talented folks.

*Having a heavenly Father I can talk to about the things on my heart.

*Listening to Finn talk to people and explain that he is hungry for pizza.

*Feeling this wee one kick over and over again.

*Looking ahead to a wonderful week as Landon and I celebrate together.

*Watching Finn get so excited when Landon gets home from work.

In the moments when it seems like life is too crazy, all I need to do is step back and see what really matters.

thoughts...

I loved watching Finn play in the snow earlier this week.  He took the top hat we used for our snowman and decided to make it his own while he tried to bike around in the snowy driveway.

This week has been so nice with not a lot of commitments.  We are taking it nice and easy around the house.  Tomorrow we are *attempting* to start potty training Finn.  That means a Target run tonight to get about 15 pair of toddler underwear.  Life is an adventure with a two year old, let me tell you.

Landon and I are so content with life right now.  I know I have said it before, but we have been talking about it a lot lately.  I don't know exactly why life seems good.  We aren't wealthy, we don't have a huge home, and our daily activities don't involve crazy adventures or wild trips, yet somehow we love where we are at right now.  Seasons of contentment seem to come and go for me, which I would love to change and be content all the time.  Something that comes with age, maybe?  Just reflecting on that these days, I guess.

Well it's gorgeously sunny but rather chilly outside today.  So I will be staying in and trying to knock out some things off the good ol' to do list.  Enjoy whatever you are doing and wherever you are on this fine Thursday.

halfway there...

I am 20 weeks along already!  It's slightly hard to believe, but when I think back to September when I took the pregnancy test as soon as I could, it seems like forever ago.

Things have been progressing well so far.  We had an ultrasound right before Christmas and the baby looked good and healthy.  Landon and I disagreed on finding out the gender this time...he didn't want to, and I was leaning very much toward finding out.  But since it was this big of a deal and we didn't see eye-to-eye, we decided not to find out.  I will admit I was pretty emotional that day as we left the ultrasound, but two days later, I wasn't really thinking about it.  Imagining what a girl would be like, and then imagining what a boy would be like helped me get over it as I loved both scenarios equally in my mind.

I have been feeling pretty good these last 5 or 6 weeks.  Every now and then I will have a nauseous day, but I feel like those terrible days are gone for the most part.  Thanks to our dear chiropractor, I have little to no back pain, and getting back into yoga has really helped keep me active on days where it's hard to feel motivated to go outside and walk.

Landon and I are really excited about this wee one on the way.  I keep trying to imagine what a family of four will be like, and it's hard to picture right now.  We are always so focused on Finn and what he is doing, that throwing a second one in the mix seems crazy.  But I love watching families with two children and how they interact as they shop or eat out.  They are so precious.

winter days...

Highlights from the past few days:

*10 inches of gloriously beautiful snow.  Also, sub-freezing temps that are colder today than those at the South Pole.  Ridiculous!  It's been keeping the frozen wonderland very pretty though.  We have ventured out a few times, and Finn loves it!

*Eating better than we did during the holidays.  January is always a great time to refocus on eating well.  My midwife would be proud of my attempts these past few days.  I've significantly upped my water intake, I've had dark leafy greens for almost every meal, and we got some high quality hormone-free beef to enjoy in some delicious roasts, soups, and whatnot.  Eating well really impacts my energy levels, and my body loves the good food.

*Vegging.  Like, a lot.  Finn can work his PBS Kids app better than Landon or I, and he enjoys cuddling up and watching some shows while I work or read.  We do limit his screen time, so he also has been playing very well on his own during his non-ipad hours.

I finished, with a ton of help from Landon, cleaning all of our floors yesterday.  The January Cure has been so refreshing to participate in, and I already know we will accomplish a lot this month.  It's so nice to look around and see the fresh floors and the flowers on our table.  I am excited for each day's assignment coming up!

a break, new year, new news...

Yes, it has been awhile since I've posted here.  A lot has happened since September, so I will fill you in.  Life got busy fast, and I just needed a break for a little bit.

The biggest piece of news is that I am pregnant with our second baby!  Here's a peek at my 18 week bump.

I got pretty sick again this time like I did with Finn, so I was out of order for a few months while my dear husband cooked, took care of our boy, and took care of me.  But I am feeling myself now, and super excited for this wee one coming in June!  We are planning a home birth, and loving every minute of our experience so far.

Finn turned two in November, and he is growing into a little boy each day.  He is talking in small sentences, using clear words more often, and is a good helper in the kitchen.  Love that kid.

We had a great holiday season, with parties, family time, good food, and so many memories made.  It's easy to be inspired and positive this time of year, and it makes me grateful for all the blessings in our life.

Now that January is here, Landon and I are hoping to be intentional about this new year.  I don't like making resolutions, rather goals.  We have a few big ones in mind, and some little personal ones.  More than anything though, I just want to enjoy each day and try to live them to the fullest.

One goal I have is de-cluttering and re-organizing the house...a common New Year's task, but a worthy one, I believe.  I have signed up for Apartment Therapy's January Cure, and I am really eager to start on the assignments.  Today, I am doing a walk-through to note anything that needs attention in our home.  I'll be making a project list and working off of that.  I know for sure our garage needs an overhaul, and the bathroom cabinet could use a good cleaning out.  This is my first time participating in this cure, but I'm excited that it will give me some great ideas to use all throughout the year for a fresh, clean home.  Back with updates on the cure this month.

Happy New Year!

little moments...

When life gets so busy that I forget which things I need to make priorities in my life, I see an image like this in our home and it brings me back to reality.

There's nothing sweeter than watching my husband parent our son in a loving, patient way.  I see so much of Landon when I look at Finn, and I see how Finn looks up to his dad and admires him greatly.  It makes my heart so happy when I see them together.

Life can easily become caught up in new gadgets, latest trends, money, materials, status.  But at the end of the day, all those things don't really matter as much as building relationships and setting a foundation of kindness, love, and morals for our children.

I will be savoring these little moments as I see them, and always remember these early years in Finn's life.  I am a truly blessed mama and wife.  God is good.

a marriage celebrated...

On Friday, we headed out of town to be with family as we celebrated the marriage of my younger brother, Jonah, and his wife, Anna.  We had a family dinner for both sides on Friday night, then celebrated all day on Saturday with friends and family.  They actually got married in a simple ceremony at a courthouse earlier in the summer...just the two of them, without a huge group of people watching.  Then, this weekend, they had a ring-warming ceremony and potluck where all their family and friends could come to visit them.  They brewed their own beer recipes for the day, had homemade ginger ale and herbal tea, an appalachian wedding cake, and everyone brought dishes to share.  The day was gloriously beautiful, and everyone had a wonderful time.

They have always gone through life to the beat of their own drum, and when they found each other, it was truly a match made in heaven.  They are both unique, generous, kind, eccentric, artistic, talented, and they don't follow the typical path.

It was such a special time as my entire immediate family was there...my brother and his girlfriend from Denver, my parents, Jonah and Anna, and my sister and her hubby and daughter.  Family can be such a blessing, and it was all the more evident this weekend.

at the river...

One beautiful day this summer, Finn and I stumbled upon a hidden gem of a park near our house.  How could this amazing place be so close to us and we never even knew it?!  Finn and I both love being outdoors, yet in more natural settings.  He loves playgrounds and sliding and swinging, but he loves getting dirty and playing in mud a lot too.  I don't like playgrounds...they are packed, I don't feel like I fit in with the "mommy" crowd, especially in the area we live, and I feel like I have to watch Finn constantly.  But parks like this one?  I love them.  I grew up roaming the outdoors with my siblings for hours on end, and rarely we went to traditional city parks with the playground equipment.

Usually, we are the only people around when we come to this park, and I can bring a book and read while Finn plays to his heart's content, or I'll practice my rock-skipping abilities (which are getting slightly better) on the river.  I don't feel like I need to watch him constantly, and I'll call out if he's getting too far into the water or too far out of my sight.

Plus, we get to see a lot of fish, birds, snakes, squirrels, and geckos that we normally wouldn't see around our house or out and about.  I think Finn enjoys the freedom he has here as well...getting to run as fast and as far as he wants in the wide open field, and getting dirty while he plays.

I try to overcome my dislikes for playgrounds, and I do take Finn to our local playground on occasion. He loves sliding and swinging very very much. :)  It's just awkward sometimes.  I feel like I'm on a first date with some of the moms as we try to make small talk and find common ground, or we just don't talk at all and just nod and smile. So awkward! Guess I need to work on my playground talk.  But more often than not, you will find Finn and I exploring our new river park find and loving the outdoors.

If you are in the Indy area and want to check it out, it's called Hazel Landing Park and it's just north of 96th street on Hazel Dell Parkway.

summer highlights...

We have been soaking up this summer with lots of time outside, on vacation, with friends, and just hanging out at home.

Here are some highlights!

I finally got a tattoo I had been wanting.  My sister and I went together and each got one, and it was a fun time to do a "first" with my best friend.

Finn played a lot of music.  He is getting so much more interested in singing and playing instruments, and he loves strumming Landon's ukulele and playing his harmonica.

We took a vacation to Virginia with Landon's family, and Finn absolutely loved the beach!
















We went camping with our small group.  Finn was the only child in the group, and he did really well!  We'll be doing more of this in the future.

I spent a lot of time with this guy. :)  Lot's of coffee dates, some weekends away from Finn, and just good quality time.  I love Landon more than I could ever describe.















We ate a lot of s'mores.  I mean, a lot.

I got a Bill Murray tank off of Etsy, and have worn it a bunch of times already.  It's quickly becoming my favorite summer shirt.

Finn spent a lot of time naked or almost naked.  Summer is great for that! :)

Needless to say, we have had a busy but good summer so far.  I feel so blessed to have such an amazing family, and live in such an amazing place!  Still planning on soaking up the rest of summer and doing what we love best...spending time together.