being a mama...

via

learning to be a mama is hard, wonderful, amazing, tiring, and one of  the best things that's ever happened to me.

there are days that it is so rough, i question the desire to ever have another baby.  then there are days and moments that are so beautiful and warming to my heart, that i realize how very fortunate i am, and what a privilege it is to be a mama.

i have come to love the moments when finn is needing me, and how it gently forces me to take life at a slower pace.  when in a crowded party, i excuse myself away to nurse finn in a quiet corner.  while traveling on a long trip, instead of driving straight through, we stop for a little one who just can't take quite as much as us adults can.  we stop at a roadside peach stand and enjoy some ice cream in the shade of a tree.  when working so hard on a project, i stop to wake up my sleepy boy and smile at him as he rubs his eyes and reaches for me.

there is nothing i've ever gone through before that compares with this time in my life.  i am learning (oh so many times) patience, tenderness, compassion, understanding, and love.  love that i never ever could have thought of before.  i just told my mom yesterday that i never thought i could love a little baby as much as love finn.  the rewards far outweigh the trials in this mama job i have.  i am so thankful for this.